Flower Club
In Jewish tradition, the period of mourning following a loved ones passing, called Shloshim, is thirty days. After those thirty days are up, the clock starts again. It’s time to respectfully, get up, get over it, stop staring out the window, move on and go out. It’s time to send emails again, eat healthy again and throw out a bunch of cardboard that for some reason is lying around. It can be hard; to put your sadness in a slightly smaller box, lock the box, bury the key in your house and then go out and do the normal things. But the rules can be comforting too. You are not supposed to keep not looking in mirrors, you are not supposed to keep wearing black, you are not supposed to stare at the flowers people gave you 30 days ago to mourn your grandma, now wilting in their bell jars, you are supposed to go out get fresh ones at Flower Club.
Today is the 30-day anniversary of my grandma’s death.
Today is the 30-day anniversary of my grandma’s death and I went to Flower Club.
Today is the 30-day anniversary of my grandma’s death and I went to Flower Club and I didn’t remember it was the 30-day anniversary of my grandma’s death until after I had put all of the flowers I picked in the bell jar. (The flowers were called lilac, fennel, daffodil, shepherds purse and other names.)
Today is the 30-day anniversary of my grandma’s death and it doesn’t always work out like this but she happened to have loved flowers. She would point them out on walks, not their names just the feelings they inspire in the form of an exclamation:
OHHHH WOOOOOOWWWWW! (I’m paraphrasing)
30 days ago I flew back from watching my grandma die and arrived to see the pink cherry blossom trees on my street had blossomed spectacularly . That day I saw her in each flower, it was like she was staying with me a little bit longer to help me transition in to the world without her in it. But now it’s been 30 days and the cherry blossoms are on the ground.
My grandma died 30 days ago I was just thinking earlier that morning, how short a season it is for the trout tulips too. Did I appreciate them enough while they were around? Did I stop in wonder and soak it all in? No more sitting by the window unable to go out and enjoy spring because you are worried that it’ll already be over as soon as it’s begun. It’s been 30 days since my grandma died and now it’s time for the grieving to change a little bit. It’s time to go to Flower Club.
Did you know? There is a purple colored plant that’s only around the first two weeks in May. This is something you can only learn at Flower Club.
While we are cutting stems, someone walks by. We ask them to join us if they want. But they say “No thanks. I love flowers but they always die on me” and when they walk away we don’t chase them or call after. Instead, the leader of Flower Club gently places another lilac in her jar and softly reminds us that flowers can’t die on you when they are already dead to begin with.
Another Jewish tradition is to end a memorial service and say : “Now, we go out into life. Now go out and live.” This happened 30 days ago.
It’s been 30 days, tomorrow will be 31. I’ll place the jar of flowers I made at Flower Club on the windowsill where I can see it from the outside.
